Randomness

I was going to finally do a State Fair post but I just can't find my motivation to go through all those pictures and pick out the best ones. There are just so many cute ones from our two days at the Fair. It will happen. Just don't have the capacity today. So a random post of information instead.

Survivor started tonight. Yes, we still watch that show and at least 4 other couples do too! We are in a fantasy league and love what it adds to watching that show every season. We have 4 survivors that are on our team. We have two winners - if you have the ultimate survivor and if you have the least amount of points based on how long our people stay in the game. If you happen to watch the show, our team this year consists of Jimmy T, Shannon, Marty and Tyrone. Help us cheer them on!

We are going to Wicked tomorrow night with our friends, the Greens! I cannot wait. Love that show. It will be the 4th time for me. So great.

Being back at work has been good but challenging at the same time. Trying to find my focus and purpose again has been hard. Going to a conference tomorrow and Friday. Will be fun to network and do some out of the office learning.

Anna has been loving 1st grade. She will take her first spelling test tomorrow, has homework every night and has already seemed to be improving on her reading. She thinks her teacher is pretty fantastic. And the desk fairy, Deskarella, visited yesterday. That was pretty exciting.

Nora is having great days at daycare. She seems to be adjusting ok. Still getting used to all the activity and noise but overall doing really well. Hardest part for us all is getting to bed at a decent time with such an early wake up call.

So my friend Laurie lives just down the street and we saw each other occasionally over the summer but not as much as I would have liked or had planned on. But what has been great is our short time together while waiting for the bus to come each afternoon. Nice little conversations have been had and friendships grown.

I love to read but ever since I got pregnant I have not had the capacity to read. I don't know what was wrong with me but the time I spent on bedrest I thought I would knock a bunch of books off my list. But no, nothing got read. So now I have a list a mile long of books to read, like now. I picked up The Help yesterday and I was hooked in my the writing right away.

What are you reading now? Should it be on my must read list?

Guilty Pleasure

I have a confession.

I love soap operas.

You know, those poorly acted, ridiculous storyline, moral compromising shows on during the daytime.

Yes, I love them.

Well, I love two of them in particular.

And one of those two are ending forever this Friday. It makes me sad.

I have been watching Young and the Restless and As the World Turns for as long as I can remember. Was I really watching them at age 5? I don't think so but I can't really recall a time when I haven't watched them.

As I am writing this I am trying to figure out why I love them so much? I guess once you have watched them for a while you feel like some of the characters are like family. You want to see what is going to happen next. What totally unrealistic turn the writers will take the show next. Whether the soap opera super couple will stay together this time.

For me soap operas also connect me to people and times. See my mom got me started on them in the first place. She has been watching, or in the case of As the World Turns, listening to them as long as she can remember. She tells of remembering being around the radio with her mom before they had a TV. Can you imagine?

It has always been something my mom and I shared. When I went off to college, I would tape, with a VCR, the soaps each day. I still religiously watched them. Then when I would talk to my mom on the phone and catch up on school news, we would turn our conversation to the latest happenings on the soaps. We continue to chat occasionally about it. Our theories on whether or not James Stenbeck is actually dead this time. Or will Carley and Jack just stay together already.

Soap operas also connect me to my grandparents. Many vivid memories of them include watching the soaps with them and laughing at the poor acting or how many times they can redo a storyline.

Going back to college times, when I was in Eau Claire I had a break from noon to 1 pm. I had never watched Days of Our Lives before. But something sucked me into that TV room in the student center and I went back just about every day. I didn't know anyone in that packed full TV room but we were all in the same "group". We would laugh and cry. Share theories and just get to know each other. There was a comradery of sorts. Strange I know.

On Friday, after 54 years, As the World Turns will air it's last show. I am going to miss my friends in Oakdale, IL. I will miss the farm, pond, Fairwinds, the hospital, Java, the Hughes family, the Snyders, the Walshes just to name a few. It seems silly to be so sad but there is a strange attachment to this show that just reminds me so much of my youth and my family. Looking forward to seeing how they wrap up the show for good and how they say good bye to a good run! ATWT forever! :)

Crashed

Well, as you can see I didn't get a blog post in last night. What happened? I crashed. All those nights of going to bed after midnight and getting up at 5:30 am finally caught up to me. We put the kids to bed and I watched my soaps (more on that tonight). Then I thought I would go down and blog and instead I laid down, shut my eyes and fell fast asleep. At 9:00 pm! Boy did that feel good! So until tonight, have a great day!

Transformation

I have changed.

There used to be a time when I didn't dwell on things. I would hear something, contemplate it and then stash it away and never pull it out of my brain again. Things wouldn't stick with me. I wouldn't self-reflect. Life was good enough so why mess with it was a common thought. Who needs to improve on "good enough".

I never really thought too deeply about anything important when it came to my self growth. I went with the flow of life. Maybe that was because if I thought too deeply about something I wouldn't like where the thought process would take me.

But lately that has all changed. EVERYTHING stays on my brain. I can't get it out. Even if I "unpack" it I still can't shake it off. For instance, I wrote about the lady I met in the park a few weeks back. That still pops in my head from time to time. Can't shake it.

The MN Blogging Conference that I wrote about yesterday had many thought provoking moments. The one that is totally sticking with me is the thought that I need to blog to share my story. That there will be someone that will benefit from what I blog. That what ever I write about there may be someone out there that needs to hear just that. That is on my brain. Constantly.

And then today we went to church and the message was primarily on transformation. The biggest take away was that in making the transformation in your life from the old ways of life (hostility, hatred, anger, selfishness, envy etc.) to the new ways of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness etc.) progress is the goal and not perfection. I needed to hear that. It is important to put in the effort, take advice and make changes but it need not (and probably won't be) perfect.

Been thinking about that all day. All these thoughts and moments of my life lately that won't escape my brain are part of my quest for transformation. A quest that is worked on every day and has no end. And as long as I keep reflecting and adjusting as need be and doing it with an authentic heart, I am meeting my goals in the eyes of God.

Which brings me to why I have changed in this respect. I believe in God and therefore believe that God has a plan for all these moments in my life that I have been experiencing lately. And apparently He isn't done with the ones that stick. I have things to learn yet and grow from. My transformation in my faith in the last couple of years has been pretty dramatic. So I don't think it was that I didn't have those moments before. I just chose to ignore them. And now I can't.

And this is good. Although it sometimes leaves my brain feeling pretty fried and makes it hard to put a thought together and explain it. Hope that isn't the case with this blog!

Take Aways

It is too soon after an event like today's to really write about what I experienced. The first ever Minnesota Blogger Conference was today and I was totally inspired. The conference organizers did a great job of bringing in relevant speakers and the networking time was wonderful. I met so many just fantastic people.

There is something pretty wonderful about getting so many creative and talented people in one room. The energy was high and I was hoping that some of that creativeness would rub off on me. Time will tell on that one but there definitely were many take aways from the day.

First, I just have to say that the very most favorite thing I took away from today is that there are many reasons for blogging. Everyone has a story to tell and those stories are amazing. These online writers that I met today speak from their hearts. They are sincere. When Heather and Matt spoke today there wasn't a dry eye in the room. The authenticity was refreshing and oh so raw.

Second, I got some clarity on where this blog is going. For now. This is my blog and a place for me to be real and authentic and write my story. My families story. If I speak from my heart and write about things that are important to me then that is success. I will grow over time and a year from now the blog may be totally different and hopefully I am a better writer. For me it isn't about number of readers or page hits. My purpose is to write about life and family and faith and maybe even a tiny bit of politics. I write for me. Period.

Third... Well, I have many thoughts swimming around in my head but having a really hard time putting them to "paper". Today was so great but information overload has happened. Thought provoking overload. Need some time to get my thoughts in order!

Until then, I look forward to more opportunities to spend time with the fab writers I met today. Truly inspiring.

Comfort Zone

I don't consider myself an introvert but I am not really an extrovert either. In social settings where there are many people I don't know, I have no problem being social but I don't usually go out of my way to put myself in those situations. Well this weekend that will change. I am so excited to attend the MN Blogger Conference. So excited. Did I say I am so excited?

Why am I so excited? Well, I think the part that gets me the most excited is hearing from and meeting some of my favorite bloggers. Some have celebrity status and some are just awesome women and one man that have been blogging every day along with me in this September Blog-a-Thon! Many (if not all) are on Twitter and part of that awesome network of friends that I enjoy "chatting" with day to day.

Excited, yes, but also nervous. As Anna would say, I have about 10 butterflies fluttering mildly in my stomach. I do personally know a couple of wonderful women that have blogs HERE and HERE so that will help! And I have a Twitter friend who first said she would hug me and then introduce me to others so there you go. I am set.

Here are some random thoughts floating in my head about the conference this weekend.

I think I am authentic on Twitter and in my blog but wonder if you people think I am a total flake.

Or wonder if I can't remember any of your real names but only your "handle". Do you call it a handle? Oh that is just for truckers on the CB? Ok.

I don't have blog business cards. I didn't even know I should.

I have no idea what to wear. What are you all wearing?

I don't want to be all geeky when I meet you but I will be. And I may just hug you. You have been warned.

Love that this event is free. Seriously. And looks like some super great speakers.

I am still figuring out what my dreams and aspirations are for this blog. Hoping to get some clarity this weekend.

I really am pretty new to this world of blogging and all that comes along with it. There will be many seasoned pros at the conference. A lot to learn and a lot to be intimidated about.

But I know how nice you all are on Twitter so really I shouldn't be nervous, right? You don't bite. I hope.

Grandparents Love

Back to my Summer Blogging Series. Early this summer Anna had the awesome opportunity to travel with my mom and dad to Colorado. Such a special time for Anna to spend with her grandparents.

A grandparents love is like no other. It is an unconditional love of sorts that can only be shared between grandparent and grandchild. Just thinking about it and remembering the times when I was young with my grandparents warms my heart.

My Grandma Hilde always had her camera. Capturing the moments. Hmm, guess there is no question that trait was passed down to my mom and now me! She also worked at a candy factory so always had candy at her house. Her house backed up to a cemetery, so often times the cousins would play hide and seek and other games there. She still is so caring and thoughtful and the smile I saw on her face when she met Nora for the first time will never be forgotten.

My Grandpa John was a kind and quiet man. We didn't see him as much as we did my Grandma but I will always remember enjoying the times we saw him and how caring he was.

I was closest with my Grandma and Grandpa Warner. For Grandpa the memories were of watching Wheel of Fortune or sitting on the front stoop of his house watching the cars drive by. For my Grandma is was playing cards, especially Kings on the Corner, and going for walks. There were times that they would come and stay with us or we would go to them while mom and dad were on vacation. They came to my basketball games and spent time with us often.

The best memories of them come from the many years we spent in Colorado with them. They started renting a house in Estes Park in 1981. My family started going in 1987 and at least one of our family has been there every summer since then. Too many memories to even list. But they were all good memories and ones that I will cherish forever.

So when my mom and dad asked if Anna could come with them to Colorado this year I didn't even think twice. My grandma doesn't go anymore but my mom and dad along with 2 of my aunts and uncles uphold the traditions.

My heart just overflows with thoughts of how my mom and dad love on Anna and Nora. They love the girls so much and show that just about every day in their actions and words. I just feel so happy that Anna and Nora will have such wonderful and cherished memories like the ones I have of my grandparents. And I find it so fitting that some of the memories will come from trips to Colorado. Our home away from home.

This photo is one that we take every year we are there. That tree has been there for as long as I can remember. Have some great group shots from this tree. Love that Grandma and Grandpa take Anna on hikes and at home take her to the park or even just out to play.

Love that Grandpa and Grandma will read books to the girls until they are blue in the face. And love that they encourage learning and growth in every day activities.

Love that Grandma and Grandpa will call on a weeknight just to say hello to Anna or find out how Nora's day was. And that they often drive down to our house to visit and see their granddaughters just because, not just for special occasions.

Love that Grandma Linda can't contain the love she has for her granddaughters. So much so that Anna often says Grandma squeezes too hard when she gives hugs. Love that Grandma Linda cherishes the times she can babysit and often offers so she can spend extra extra time with them.

Love that Grandpa Bob can make his granddaughters laugh until they cry. Love that Grandpa Bob always has Anna help him with doing the dishes, making pancakes or the favorite, baking cookies. Or how excited Anna gets to help Grandpa Bob out in the yard.

Love knowing that Anna and Nora will grow up always knowing the love of their grandparents. Look forward to seeing what lies ahead for them and the memories that will be made.

Here is today's random photo. I was looking through the photos my mom and dad took of their trip and came across this one. Totally looks doctored but it is the real deal. Crazy.