I have a friend who is on a similar journey but taking a different path. My path was one of multiple miscarriages and uneasy pregnancies. Her path is one of infertility and international adoption. Different paths but hopefully a similar end result. And we are both waiting. Waiting to finally reach the end of the journey that we both started so long ago.
My friend's faith and positiveness is inspiring. I am sure she has her moments as do I but you really can't endure all this without a strong faith and belief in something. For her and I, it is our faith in God and his plan that has brought us this far along with the support of our friends and family.
But it isn't easy. I still question Why? Why is this the path that is chosen? I actually think I have an answer but it isn't one I have been following up on. Is this time on bed rest supposed to be a time for me to spend more time in prayer, in the Bible, working on my relationship with God? I got an e-mail right after I went on bed rest that suggested that may just be the case. But I haven't done it. Why? Fear or shame or scared? I'm not really sure. Maybe a combination of it all.
But then I checked my friend's blog. She had this video on and dedicated it to me. She mentions that it is her favorite song as she waits in this adoption process but it also is so clear that it applies to me too. I don't think I can ignore any more clear nudgings.
Some Doritos and a stupid test
3 weeks ago
5 comments:
So true, Tina! Throughout my difficult pregnancies and related complications I often wondered what the divine purpose to such pain and suffering was. To be able to express true empathy for others, to teach myself that I am not the one in control of my life, to learn to rely on others and my Savior in times of trouble, to lead me to my precious daughter through adoption whom I never otherwise would have sought? I know it makes us stronger--better able to face what the future has to offer. And, it sure reminds us that we live in a sinful world, no illusions of Heaven on Earth, that's for sure! Continuing to pray for you both as you wait!
I too believe we go through this pain and suffering to learn and teach others. I think you and I have been able to talk with one another about subjects that not just anyone could talk about and I appreciate your just being there for me to talk to. I am praying diligently for you, Chad and Anna and the littlest one as you wait!
Talking about what we are supposed to learn (or get out of) our challenges... I think mine might be learning to live better with my anxiety (or get over it, realize I can't be perfect, realize I can't control things).
You might find energy tapping helpful... something to learn more about and spend some time with right now. It's kind of difficult to explain. I'm just starting to be exposed to it myself, but I can tell you that it seems to have great healing potential and uses your own resources (energy, mind intention) to help you. Here is a place to start if you are interested: http://www.tappingworldsummit.com/
You are in my thoughts and prayers.
-Laurie
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