Climbing Mountains

I am emotional. I would say even more emotional than when I was pregnant or when our 2nd daughter also made an early appearance. I suppose when you plan on this being your last child each milestone is precious and THE last time we will experience it. But geesh, I need to get a grip. With Nora's 1st Birthday lurking around the corner (aka 11 days to be exact), I can't stop thinking of ways to keep her a baby. Instead I need to be living in the moment and finding a way to enjoy the small things of her growing up.

Yesterday when I glanced over in the living room and couldn't find my littlest daughter playing on the floor like she had been just a few minutes earlier I rushed over to see what happened. I was shocked to find that she had crawled up two stairs to a landing all by herself. No coaxing. No practicing for weeks. No help or encouragement what so ever. I was conflicted. Happy that she had reached another milestone. Still sad that she is not my baby anymore.

I don't know why this milestone is hitting me so much more. Maybe because of that upcoming birthday. Or the fact that now we will be playing that game of NO GOING UP THE STAIRS! (the gate will be going up shortly)

I think what is boils down to though is being proud. Proud of my 3lb 10ozer that just about a year ago was not able to do anything on her own. Proud that besides a little coaching from Gma a couple of weeks ago (I find out later from Anna. Thanks Gma! (sarcasm)), she did this on her own. Independent of us wanting her to do it. Like walking which we try and encourage although not sure why!? She just went for it. And she was so happy.

And I think the happiest/happy sad part is that just moments before going up the stairs, Anna had gone up there. It was pretty obvious that she wanted to follow her sister. And when she made the turn for the full flight of stairs it was Anna at the top which was the goal. Oh my heart could explode. It is moments like that, those two together, the makes me enjoy the little moments more and more.



So, this reenactment of the first stair climbing pales in comparison. The first time she just went for it and climbed the whole flight without stopping. She was a tiny bit more distracted this time. But I love the look on her face when she turns to look at the camera. See what I mean. So not a baby anymore.